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Whether you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, or have found out that you are not ready to parent at this time, we are here to help you learn a little bit about adoption. There is no single reason why someone decides to make an adoption plan, and learning what adoption entails is vital before you can make this decision. You can also visit the Waiting Families page and see all the many couples hoping to become parents through adoption.
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Of course, adoption plans are serious and there is a lot of information out there (but make sure your information is based out of Canada and not the US). Also notice that adoption in Canada is organized differently in each province. Some provinces have coordinate adoption through their government system, while other provinces have private agencies and permit online matches. It is important for you to contact an agency in your province to find out the rules and regulations - just google your closest adoption lawyer or agency and give them a call for more information. If you place a child for adoption there is no cost to you, but it also illegal for you to receive ANY compensation. As well, understand that most private domestic adoptions are now open adoptions, which means you can have ongoing contact with your adoptive family. Adoption is a loving choice, don't believe anyone who tells you it is not. You are making the best decision for you and your baby. We understand that, and so do our hopeful Waiting Families wanting to adopt. You drive the adoption process, you make the decisions, you are in control.
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What does your adoption look like for you, in the best case scenario? These days most adoptions are open or semi-open, meaning you have contact with the family you have chosen for your child. This can include letters, photos, visits, becoming facebook friends, etc etc. The variables are endless. However, this is a decision made between you and your adoptive parents. Makes sure you really think about what YOU want for your adoption plans, and make sure the family you pick for your child is on board with you hopes. Of course, if you want a closed adoption, that is your choice as well! However, it is important to note that an open adoption is not co-parenting; and the adoptive parents will have the final say in regards to contact - so chose wisely and ask those hard questions!
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As well as deciding if you want an open, semi-open or closed adoption you have other things to consider when making an adoption plan for you and your child. For instance, what kind of childhood/life/family do you want for your child? Do you want someone close by? Do you want a family of a certain religion or ethnicity? Do you want a stay at home parent or siblings for your child? What kind of parenting would you like to see your child receive? Is it important for you what kind of jobs the adoptive family has, or their financial status? What about how they will discipline? Do you want a family that loves some of the things you love? But most of all, consider how they treat you. You deserve respect, consideration, and a very clear voice while you make this decision. Now is the time to also remember that each province has different rules and platforms with how they manage adoptions. So google adoption in province and find out what flexibility you have in guiding your process. And if you live in provinces that permit you to find your family online, well, we welcome you to view families on our Waiting Families page!
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Here is the thing, each province has differences and mandates about how adoptions are handled. Of course, there are different adoption platforms (public, private domestic {this is you}, international, etc) and there are differences as to how each province in Canada handles said adoptions. For instance, in B.C. a family can advertise their intent to adopt, but the expectant parent can not contact Waiting Families directly and instead must contact the agency handling the prospective adoption. In Alberta, there are private domestic adoption agencies with a wide range of families ready to adopt - but those families can not advertise their intent to adopt so an expectant parent has to contact the agency to find a family. In Ontario expectant parents and hopeful adoptive parents can meet online and then involve an agency for their private domestic adoption plan after they have gotten to know one another. And in many other provinces all adoptions go through the government system which also handles public adoptions. This means it is important for you to do your homework based on the province you live in. But in the end - no one should pressure you to make your decision, and you have no obligation to follow through with an adoption plan if you change your mind!
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Now we invite you to look at some of the couples on our Waiting Families. Here you will find families that have been approved to adopt and gone through all the necessary steps for this approval. This has included multiple visits and interviews, police checks, medical checks, reviews of almost every aspect of their lives - and they have been approved to adopt a child.
The beauty of looking at the families on our Waiting Families registry is you can view them privately. You may also email them privately and ask them any question you want! Remember this adoption plan is about YOU and YOUR baby, so you drive the process. There is no commitment made by asking questions, but be respectful that these couples are waiting and hoping with all their hearts for a match so really think about what this all means for you - take care of yourself first - and try not to make promises. Just get to know who interests you, follow your provincial rules, and let the process evolve naturally. |
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If you live in a province where you have been able to pick a family online, now is the time you involve a professional. Usually when adoption is matched through an agency they wait until you are 6-8 months pregnant to make matches, assuring that you are ready for what adoption really entails. Lots can happen when you are early on in your pregnancy and making plans. This is to protect both you and the hopeful adoptive couple from a heart breaking experience. But if you are ready - then now is the time to move forward! Ask the family you have picked who they are working with and you can contact their agency or adoption professional, who will in turn organize your own support worker. OR, contact their adoption worker directly (they are listed on every waiting family's page). There should be no costs to you to move forward with an adoption plan, but it is important to move forward in a legal and responsible way - the only way. Now is the time when things get really real, so make sure you are ready, and ask for counselling (if you contact an agency there should be no charge for adoption placement counselling). But remember this - you drive this process. It is about you and what YOU want for you and your baby. You owe no one anything and have every right to change your mind. So make sure you inform yourself, make the decision that YOU want, and get what YOU need during this time.
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We are a birth mom / adoptive mom team that strives to provide compassion, education and awareness in Canada to the issues surrounding adoption.
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